Tivi's Dagger Read online

  And then, as Lana and Kel jostled at my elbow for a look through the glass, the dragon raised its majestic head and opened one dark eye. Its enormous wings stretched out to their furthest span and it gave a loud cry, a raucous, bird-like shriek that echoed through the valley and brought the hairs on my arms to attention. And then, miraculously, it was answered by a smaller cry; more high-pitched and musical.

  “Our dragon is a mother,” I said, as Lana snatched the telescope from me with a cry of excitement. I was suddenly and supremely joyful. The baby dragon had blinked out at the world just for a moment and just for me, for Lana was already expressing disappointment at it being so well enveloped once more behind its mother’s wing.

  “You must make a wish, Ned. We all must!” Lana said, handing the telescope to Kel and beaming. “Men have waited lifetimes in vain in the hope of seeing such a wonderful sight as we have seen today. It is a far bigger and more magnificent creature than I could ever have dreamed of. A fine omen for all of us, I’m sure of it.”

  I thought about what wish I would make but could think of nothing but negatives. I wish I didn’t have to marry. I wish I didn’t have to go back home. I wish I hadn’t been so disagreeable last night. They flooded my mind like tiny biting fish in a pond and I shook my head to rid myself of them, for even the auspicious vision of such a beautiful and legendary creature could not change the path that was carved out before me. I murmured them all the same, my gaze fixated on the beautiful, majestic beast before me.

  “Are you praying, Ned?” Lana asked, looking amused.

  “Merely wishing.”

  She laughed. “In my experience, it’s the same thing.”

  “What are all the monks doing here?” Kel asked. “Does the appearance of the dragon have some religious significance?”

  “They are going to form a protective barrier as best they can around the mountain’s base to prevent any so-called heroes from gathering to slay the dragon,” Kari replied. “More to protect such people from themselves, for none have ever managed the feat through conventional means. This is an ancient and magical beast, and if she’s protecting a baby, she will be far more fearsome than any adventurer could dare to imagine. We do not want blood spilled needlessly at the foot of the Gods.”

  “Perhaps it will fly away soon,” my brother said in a weary monotone. “We will find somewhere to camp in the meantime. I’m sure one of these tea farmers will be glad of some extra coin.”

  “As you wish, Brindar.” Kari gave a small bow and walked away.

  Chapter 8

  Brin was right in his assumption. There was indeed a farmer who was happy to pocket some coin and allow us to make camp in his dusty yard among the goats and chickens. His stilted dwelling lay among a small clump of evergreens a half-mile closer to the mountain and from that location we were able to peer through the branches and watch the dragon with our own eyes. For two days we rested, but the creature made no move to fly away.

  It was as if Kari and I were becoming strangers once more. We sat apart from one another with the others around the camp fire at night and answered when spoken to, but the sadness and hurt I had inflicted upon him was now hidden behind a neutral, shuttered expression. The joy he took from everyday things was gone and it pained me greatly to see him so, but I could not find the words to explain the tortured landscapes my mind and heart had become; nor could I bring back his smile.

  I awoke on the morning of the third day to sound of birdsong, the sight of the sun peeking through thin cloud, and my brother on his knees with a sword at his throat.

  Two cloaked figures stood before him, casting long shadows across the dirt. The sword that glinted was sharp and straight. But what was more worrying to me was the look on Brin’s face. He was calm and resigned, so much so that I believed at that moment he would welcome the swing of an executioner’s arm.

  With a shout of alarm I scrambled to my feet, and the others started awake. Lana grabbed for her blades but one of the figures held up a white-gloved hand and spoke in a deep, commanding voice. “There will be no need for violence.”

  The two men threw back their hoods and cloaks and looked around our party with serious eyes. One was much older than the other and was shaven-headed with and a huge hooked nose and lighter coloring that spoke of northern climes. Clumps of red hair peeked from his substantial nostrils, giving the impression that he was breathing flames. The shorter, younger man was stocky and dark of complexion like us, and held Brin’s box under one thick arm. On top of chainmail armor that hung to mid-thigh, both wore the shiny breastplates of the Protectors of Lis.

  “Brindar Melchion,” said Hook-nose. “We have been charged with your apprehension and the safe return of the Treaty of Khar Tam. Now that it’s been recovered, we will be pleased to escort you and your party back to Lis as you see fit. No charges will be brought against you for this theft, for as we have observed you from a distance we have become satisfied that your motives were not driven by profit or personal gain of any sort, misguided as you have been in these — and many other — matters.”

  “The Treaty of…” Kel whispered, gazing at the box in sudden breathless rapture.

  The Treaty of Khar Tam. It was still in existence, and my brother had stolen it from the Protectors. Why? Had he thought to try to reunite the lands once again? It seemed like a foolish and dangerous endeavor to my mind, but as I looked at my brother’s sorrowful face I realized that all along he had known who our pursuers were, and had hoped for them to take his head.

  The Protectors glanced at each other and then back at Brin.

  “We bear news of terrible events in Azmara, brother. Just after you fled the city, the commoners took up arms and rose up against us. It seems that the purge of the taverns was the final drop that ignited the cauldron. Sardar Pol has been deposed and slain by the mob and now our temple lies in flames. Our city is on the brink of disaster and we are in desperate need of leadership to prevent the unrest spreading to the rest of Lis.”

  “And this leadership you want is mine? It’s a little late for that, is it not? You schemed against me and burnt the Apostate’s brand into my flesh, and this is what you expect?” Brin gave a bitter laugh and looked away.

  “We know that you were willing to risk your life to travel to the un-named land in search of allies to strengthen your cause,” ventured the younger man. “But the Treaty of Khar Tam will carry no weight among the warlords now. Far too much time has passed since the Second Splintering, and none still live of the bloodlines who may have honored it once.”

  “You thought to march an army of warlords from the un-named land through Methar?” Kari said carefully, folding his arms. “I would surely have poisoned you had I known of such treachery.”

  The red-haired Protector cleared his throat and addressed Kari. “We would not have allowed Brindar to venture as far as the un-named lands. Methar is in no danger from us, young one.”

  Brin shrugged, but his eyes glittered with unshed tears. “As I believed you would not. The only surprise for me was that you took so long to reveal yourselves. The Evil One certainly thrives within my heart, for there is a part of it that rejoices at the thought of Pol dead and Azmara in flames. And yet another that wishes you would just take my head as you did my partner’s, so that I would not have to live on with the burden of his loss.”

  The Protectors stepped back, making circles over their hearts. “Surely you do not mean those terrible things, Brindar. Even a sinner’s life is precious, as is written in...”

  My brother straightened his back and ran his hands through his unruly hair. “Do not think to preach to me. No man is completely pure of heart, and the Evil One’s influence can no more be severed from us than an arm or a leg. Mastering the whispers of the Evil One is the key to true Serenity, for it can’t be forced. It’s something that Pol never understood, may the Thirteen have mercy upon his soul. Perhaps in the ugly furnace of uprising, blood and smoke, a new capital may be forged in Lis, for it is a land d
esperately in need of change. I am going to walk for a while to clear my head and heart.” He turned to the rest of us and sighed. “As the dragon seems unlikely to budge from Thar Mati in the near future, we will not reach the shrine, so we may set off for our return tomorrow. Nedim, I release you from the Rite of Instruction. You can now do as you please, for I am no longer a man to care for the soul of another.”

  With that, my brother strode off into the trees, trailed by the two Protectors who were to be our shadows in days to come.

  Chapter 9

  When we set off the next day with Thar Mati at our backs, I felt as if my pack had been weighted with stones. I felt terrible for my self-obsession and even worse that I could not stop thinking about my own fate, knowing as I did the depths of my brother’s despair and loss. There was not much I could say to comfort him, but Lana seemed to have stepped in where I should have been. .While Brin seemed to be listening more than he spoke, Lana’s bright chatter seemed to be having an effect, for I heard him chuckle for the second time since we had left Lis, albeit briefly.

  The fiery-nostrilled Protector had introduced himself as Falthros and his partner as Kit. They were as bland as priests could be, more prone to spouting quotes than meaningful conversation. Watching them both awkward and squirming in the presence of a woman who did not bow and scrape before them was a pleasant distraction from my woes.

  Kari was ignoring me openly now. Every time I tried to talk to him, no words would form on my lips. How had I allowed things to grow so cold? What had passed between my brother and me was happening all over again, and I despaired of my inability to learn life’s lessons. My former lover spent the time on our return journey discussing theological matters with Kel out of earshot of the Protectors, who marched ahead with my brother and Lana, all deep in conversation about what needed to be done upon their return to Azmara. Once more I brought up the rear alone, scuffing stones under my feet and feeling more and more wretched with each passing step. As we passed the plunging drops, my mind focused on the agonizingly uncomfortable situation I was presently in, as well as the horrors that awaited me in Lis. On more than one occasion I felt like hurling myself off the path to break my wretched body on the rocks below.

  The return journey seemed to go much more swiftly despite its extended length, for the weather was kind. The longer route was better lined with sturdy Pilgrims’ Rests and the scenery was more of the same: high peaks, sparkling rivers and gentle mists and waterfalls, but the spectacular sights did not enliven my mind as they once had. I even found myself longing for the rumor of Night Walkers, for I felt better equipped to face them than my own father.

  Before I knew it, we were back at the inn in Kalati town. Thankfully, it was almost empty of guests, which allowed everyone to take their own room. But then Lana forced herself upon me despite my protestations of wanting to be alone. Kari and Kel had gone to the bath house at the end of the garden and the knot in my guts tightened once more as I remembered what had taken place there the last time we had passed through. It felt almost as if a lifetime had passed since that happy night and the memory brought tears of sorrow and regret to my eyes.

  “Right, you are going to tell me what in the world you have done to our guide,” Lana said, dumping her pack on the floor and flopping onto the double bed, gazing at me expectantly. “He has been in a rotten humor since Thar Mati, almost as if he were the sole town crier in a ‘miserable proclamation’ contest. I tire of this gloomy atmosphere between you, if I’m honest.”

  “What has he told you?” I said, lying down on my side to face her.

  “Oh nothing, except that he’s seen enough of the world and is going back to the monastery to take up the silver for good. That the world is wonderful as the rose is, but with more prickles to be hurt upon. Tivi’s dagger comes to all who live, or is it love? The usual sort of melodramatic verse quoted by a nineteen-year-old with a broken heart, I expect.”

  Wretched once more, I shifted onto my back so I would no longer have to meet her eyes.

  “Well, I have done nothing to him, and that’s the problem.” I took a deep breath and told her everything that had happened that night beside the river and how I’d felt afterwards, expecting some sensible womanly advice as she was — at times — wont to give. Instead she threw her head back and hooted with merriment. I looked at her in surprise, momentarily aroused from my gloom by a flutter of irritation. “I’m glad my predicament serves to amuse you, Lana.”

  “Oh Ned, you are truly a dunce. That old courtesan saying is certainly true, that when the prick is hard, the mind is soft. You could not have handled the situation more ineptly if you’d been paid to do so.”

  I glared at her angrily. “I’m well aware of that.”

  “What you speak of is oft the woe of a woman,” she said as the smile faded from her features. “For the first time in your whole life you gave yourself freely to a lover, and then discovered afterwards that you could not get back that which you gave.”

  “What’s that, whatever shreds were left of my virginity? I suppose that’s the case, if we’re talking about…”

  “No, Ned. I’m talking about your heart. Even when we were together, it felt sometimes as if you weren’t really there. No matter — we were fine lovers but make much better friends, and I mean to keep it so. You can’t always control your passions with an iron fist as you have done until now. And nor should you, for to my mind love must always be a little bit wild. It’s been clear for some time that you’re in love with that boy, more so than I’ve ever seen you before. And what’s more, you know it as well, for why else would you be so miserable?”

  “I’m not that miserable.”

  “You are completely miserable and what’s worse, you’re becoming boring. If I were you, I’d go out to that bath house right now and tell Kari what’s in your heart. We have little time left before we reach the border pass, and when he turns up those steps toward that monastery your abiding memory of this pilgrimage will not be your brief glimpse into the mind of the fae, or the beautiful dragon, the awesome peak of Thar Mati, nor any other spectacular thing we have seen, but the sight of your lover’s back as he walks away, for he will not follow you to Lis. Is that something you want to remember for the rest of your days?”

  I sighed. “It is not, certainly.”

  “So all you have to do is consider the path we take tomorrow, and at its fork you should ask yourself one question: If I had the choice, which would I take? For it’s not love that’s making you unhappy, but duty. You and Brindar are more alike than you care to imagine.”

  We lay together in silence as I digested her words. She was right, of course — what was stopping me from running to the bath house at that very moment? Naught but some sort of twisted pride and the shame of having treated Kari so despicably. But he was with Kel and I did not want to have such a conversation in front of my cousin. I vowed to speak to Kari alone before we concluded our journey to try and resolve the issue. Perhaps he would come to Lis with me after all, if only I could persuade him that Azmara was a place worth living in. It was not unheard of for married nobles to have their true lovers living in the marital home as “servants” or “butlers”. Now that Sardar Pol was in his grave, perhaps the death penalty for “unnatural liaisons” would be repealed.

  The death penalty. What was I thinking? It had been enshrined in the Divine Laws of Lis long before Pol, and most likely would remain so after him as well. But there had to be a solution. Didn’t Lana tell me one time in our beach hut over a few carafes of wine, some dwarven Cautionary Tale about an indecisive unfortunate who dwelt upon his missed opportunities so much that they became shrieking bats that attacked and devoured his very flesh? I couldn’t remember. Before I could deliberate upon the matter further, she spoke.

  “Talking of your brother…”

  “What of him?”

  “Unexpectedly, I have grown quite fond of the man as the time has passed. Engaging him in conversation has become less of a chor
e and more pleasurable by the day. Do you think he’ll go back to the Protectors, or take some other path?”

  I grinned despite myself. “Some other path…leading to your bed?”

  “Perhaps,” she said, with a coy smile.

  “Brin has been a priest for more than twenty years, and in his heart for much longer than that. I don’t think even you — gorgeous, intelligent, and vigorous in bed as you are — could tempt him away from the Protectors.”

  She sighed. “Merely vigorous? How about inventive, skilled with carvings, and well-acquainted with techniques of pleasure acquired from the pirate masters themselves? No matter. Your brother remains a virgin, most likely to be pleasured to great heights through a few simple flicks of the wrist. But his heart is the prize I am inclined to seek, and I can but try.”

  “Lana,” I groaned, turning over and plumping the pillow beneath my head. “There are things a man does not need to know about his brother.”

  We left it at that, for night was almost upon us and we had still a long way to travel.

  Chapter 10

  The next morning I released my cousin from donkey duty and saw to the beast myself, glad to be away from the others so my mournful mood did not infect the party. I stroked the beast’s bristly neck and fed him some greens, then strapped our gear to his back. The mundane tasks rested my mind and when I heard a greeting behind me I almost leapt out of my skin.

  “Good morning, brother.”

  Brin stood in the doorway, head cocked to one side, watching me. “Fourth time lucky,” he said with a wry smile. “It seems there is no one to oppose me now, feckless family or not.”